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How do I find more motivation?

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Quite simply, behavior depends on the forces that pull us forward and the forces that hold us back. These are in balance at any given time. Changing behavior depends on changing these forces. Moving ahead depends on energizing the forces that pull us ahead.

To make this more understandable, let's take an example. Say I would like to start a daily running habit, but I find my resolve weakens after a few days. What is going on? Well, I can think of several good reasons to run regularly.

• It feels good.
• I love to feel how strong my body gets with time.
• It decreases my stress level.
• I feel calmer and more energetic.
• Eventually, I will be fitter and be able to play longer with my kids and walk further without getting tired or winded.
• Eventually, I will lose weight and attain my dream of looking slim and strong.
• Way down the line, I will live longer and healthier into old age, keep my blood pressure down and diabetes and cholesterol problems at bay.

Note, however, that I am having trouble keeping at my new running habit. Why? Is it because I naturally lack motivation? Is motivation a trait I either have a little or a lot of?

Motivation experts actually agree that motivation is not a trait. It is a "state". I can enter this state, or change into another state. Therefore, there must be something I can do to enter and to maintain a state of high motivation.

That something I need to do is to resolve my ambivalence about running. The fact is that I can think of many good reasons not to run. You know them: it takes up time I just don't have. It is hard on my knees, what if I get injured? It is dangerous, I could get hit by a car. My running shoes are old and I need to figure out which ones to buy. I never really liked running anyway. I am not the type that runs; I come from a long line of couch potatoes. Oh, there are several hundred other reasons. Some of them, however, are more powerful than I know. My very identity and the meaning of my existence are invested in some of them.

How do I resolve this ambivalence? How do I acquire a new self-image? I could go to therapy and work on issues of family of origin and learning to grow up and forge my own separate identity. Or I could go the "life coaching" way.

• visualize myself running; feel the sensations; feel the sensations of calm, of strength, of pure joy I get after a run
• remember the reasons I have for living: for example, for parents, feel "in my body" my love for my kids and how much I want to stay healthy as long as I can, so I can watch them grow up, have their own children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren…
• remember my love of the outdoors: feel the sensations I experience when I am backpacking in high alpine meadows (or whatever is meaningful for you) - that crisp air, the stunning high peaks, the crystal clear spring water cascading across the bright green meadow, the peace of night-time and the mystery of camping out, the myriad stars, the breath of night and wilderness.
• brainstorm ways to make running inevitable: get a running buddy, make a bet with my spouse, schedule my day so there is a convenient moment for it, book a hiking trip so I will be even more aware of wanting to be in good shape.

Many people are able to make dramatic changes in this manner. A good life coach will have skills to energize the forces that move you forward in the direction you choose.

Many of us have tried to lose weight for years. Nationally, the statistics are disheartening. The majority of people who succeed in losing weight end up gaining it back within a couple of years. Why? What makes this so difficult? How can we be successful at weight loss?

It turns out that there are studies of people who lost substantial amounts of weight and kept it off. The bottom line is this: regular exercise seems to be the key. Understanding why can help motivate us.

First, the bad news. As we all know, our weight depends on how many calories we ingest and how many we use up through our basic resting metabolism and our daily activities. This leads to the simplistic belief that all we have to do to lose weight is eat less and move more.

That would be easy indeed except for the fact that appetite and motivation are regulated by a variety of complex mechanisms. For example our metabolic rate slows down if we eat too little, making it impossible to lose weight. Dieters must understand that finding and ingesting food is a very basic survival instinct that is not easily overcome. The animal's survival depends on keeping eating behavior on auto pilot. Any attempt to tamper with the basic mechanism results in all sorts of alarms going off in the body.

One recent finding is that levels of a hormone called "grehlin" surge in our blood when we get hungry. This surge is more pronounced in obese people.

Some people may have a terrible time regulating their eating behavior, and for good reason. This leads to the advice that people trying to lose weight should try eating small meals several times per day, trying to keep grehlin levels low.

It is very difficult to control eating, basic metabolic rate and activity level at the same time. For one thing, they all take some pre-planning, and it can be too time-consuming to orient one's entire life around calories in and out. Nobody wants to live like that.

Moreover, stress itself causes weight gain, not only for those who cope through increasing what they eat, but also because it causes changes in metabolism, and changes in sleep patterns, which in turn result in more unfavorable changes in metabolism and in daily activities.

Now for the good news. Exercise is the place to start. It not only burns calories, it also decreases the circulating stress hormones and improves mood and sleep patterns. It changes body composition, thus again changing the rate at which calories are used, especially during active (exercise) times.

Watching television, on the other hand, does several harmful things. First, of course, it takes up time that could otherwise be spent walking or playing a team sport. Second, it exposes us to many advertisements for fattening food (just pay attention next time you are watching your favorite program). Also, it has the effect of raising anxiety levels, not only during the news hour, but also during violent programming, and during the ads, which commonly motivate us to consume by making us feel inadequate in some way ("you'd be a cool person if only you drove this fancy car…"). Finally, and most surprisingly, watching TV. actually decreases metabolic rate. The latter finding is fairly new, and quite disturbing, as studies show that the decrease in metabolic rate is more pronounced in more overweight people.

So yes, losing weight is difficult. As a physician, I have watched scores of people try and fail. This is why I acquired coaching skills and set out to be a coach. I believe the weekly accountability, whether you set it up with a professional or with a friend, can be an important part of your weight loss effort.

If you have been reading recent articles on this topic, you probably have an answer already: exercise, or maybe diet…

WRONG!!

The most important thing you can do is to find your passion, and to hold on to it. Then orient your life around it and dream as big as you dare, and then much, much bigger.

Why? That is simple.
If you know your passion and you dare to dream, then you do what you need to do to stay healthy. You respect this body, and this mind, because they are the instruments of your effectiveness in the world.

In studies of people who enter very old age with their health intact, one of the factors seems to be "remaining engaged with life". The other factors are exercise, a healthy diet, not smoking, and having a large and varied social circle. These factors are independent of each other, meaning that the reason they are important is not just because people who do one also tend to do the others. Presumably, they each have their part to play in maintaining our health.

There is magic in these studies. We don't fully understand the results. Why a social circle? What hormones are affected? What difference does it make that we are engaged with life? How do you bottle that so we can all get a dose?

As a physician, I give this advice sometimes, but always a little jokingly. It just doesn't sound scientific.

But as a coach, I can tell you this has to be basic. Everything works that way. If you know your passion, your dream, the universe conspires to help you. Goethe said so:

"All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of incidents and meetings and material assistance which no one could have dreamed would come his or her way. Whatever you can do or dream, you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."

Magic then. But as far as your body is concerned, it is quite understandable. There are hormones that react to your thoughts and feelings. Their levels rise or fall in response to signals from your brain. If your brain says, "life is a bore, depressing, really frightening and horrible", the levels of a hormone called cortisol rise. This causes increases in blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, decreases in immune function, memory and mood. It also causes increased storage of fat in a "central" way - in the abdomen, around organs. You could be on your way to cancer or a heart attack.

How do you find your passion, how do you dare to dream? That is why I am focusing on coaching at this time. As a physician, I watched people lose their zest for life and there was little I could do about it. With coaching skills and tools, there is a good chance I can help.

That is a great and courageous question. You may have been told that your condition is permanent. I am not your physician, and I will not take over as your personal physician. But I am not the only one who believes that many so called "chronic" conditions can be reversible.

The list of such conditions is extensive. Remember that there are miracle cures even with cancer. Stories by Bernie Siegel and others have fully documented that. Studies involving actually looking at blood vessels through catheterization, for example, show that diet, exercise and stress reduction can reverse hardening of the arteries. This is from the work of Dr. Dean Ornish (see links). Other studies, and my own experience, show that you can reverse diabetes and high blood pressure.

How? Stress reduction, exercise, and diet. The details of this are in Dr. Ornish's books, on the web, available from your physician, in your bookstore, etc...

You may be confused as to where to start, and you may be concerned that everyday life will take over and your motivation will fade. You may be convinced that your particular kind of stress cannot be overcome.

I say give it a chance. Make a list of all the reasons why you really, really want to be healthy. And all the reasons why you may not enjoy doing the things that will help keep you healthy.

Then make a list of the disadvantages of being sick. Finally, be honest and list all the advantages of being sick. This is just for you, remember, so think hard, be kind to yourself, and write whatever comes to mind.

Does an obvious answer emerge? If not, you can explore this further with a therapist knowledgeable in the technique of motivational interviewing, or with a good coach.

Best of luck in your journey!

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